What do we have to live for?

Yesterday I had my CAHMS appointment with the doctor and my physchiatrist and lets just say it didn't go too well... My weight has gone down again (it hasn't actually gone up since being in recovery) and they really want to put me in hospital but given my current situation with my exams that just isn't an option for me right now. They also told me that I can't go on holiday this summer and my family had already booked a 14 day trip touring around Sri Lanka and the Maldives which I was looking forward to soo much. I feel so guilty about not being able to go but they said my heart wouldn't be able to cope with the flight and it's just too risky right now. 
The holiday was one of my main reasons for recovery and it really got me thinking - what's the point in trying if what I do is never good enough? I was getting so negative about it but I just needed a long talk with my parents and a good cry to come around to my senses again. I have SO much to live for and I didn't even realise. 
So the point of this post is to get you thinking about what you have to live/recover for. Here are just some of my reasons and hopefully they inspire you to think of some of your own! 

• prom at the end of June
• a trip to London in a few weeks
• to be able to go out for meals with my friends
• to be able to see my family everyday
• to go to concerts/festivals
• to meet new people
• to make new memories
• to make my parents proud
• to find myself again
• feeling joy in life again
• to be able to exercise 
• to go to college next year
• to not be cold all the time
• to grow my hair back fully
• to be able to eat all the foods i want
• to not be afraid of living
• getting rid of that guilty feeling after meals
• to be able to look back in 20 years and say, "I did it"